To Find the Things Not Spoken
by Takaratoast
Summary: When Izaya's escape fails him, he falls into the mercies of Shizuo, who takes the opportunity to kill Izaya. But when Izaya fails to pass on, Shizuo is stuck with having to figure out what it will take, to find the things not spoken. Shizaya.
1. Prolouge

Prologue.

POV: IZAYA

I do not own Durarara or any of the characters.

This is my first fanfic sooooo Enjoy~!

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><p>To Find The Things Not Spoken<p>

Izaya ran through the backstreets of Ikebukuro, spotting gang members and drug dealers every so often. Many of which were acquaintances of his, people he exchanged information with. But there wasn't time to think about that, he had something more important to worry about. He took a quick glance behind him, keeping his quick pace to see who, no, what was following him. Shizuo was on his heals, anger present on his face, hate gleaming in his eyes.

Izaya let out a delighted laugh seeing Shizuo like that. There was nothing he loved more than seeing Shizuo worked up and angry because of things that Izaya had done. Provoking Shizuo was always the highlight of his day, it was what he loved to do more than anything else in life.

Shinra claimed it was love, desperately wanting to see each other every day, teasing each other constantly, he said it was the only real explination. Izaya just laughed at the notion." As if anyone could ever love a brute like Shizu-chan," He had said. Izaya knew what he had felt towards the man, hate. Hate without reason, and he never wanted to look past it, simply because he never wanted their little game of cat and mouse to end.

He sprinted harder down the streets making careful notes as to where he was going. He had planned an escape, a perfect route to lose the brute and make it safely home, once again, without a scratch.

He needed to turn left into the next alleyway, the last time he had checked it led out into a street that was busy at this hour, almost sundown. Running through a busy street, he could easily lose Shizuo in the crowd and make his way home for the night. Its placement was lucky for Izaya, where he was running would lead to a dead end, if it weren't for that one opening.

A wide smirk spread across his face as he saw the corner of the alley's entrance come into his view. He ran to it, ready to shake off Shizuo and go home to the dollars chat. He looked back at Shizuo again, showing him a triumphant smirk as he ran to freedom.

His heart nearly stopped when he looked down the alley.

_No._

This wasn't right. He had been sure it led out. He had checked only a month ago...

His eyes weren't lying to him. Blocking his way was a wall of bricks; it was new, obviously laid within the month. He skidded to a stop. Maybe he could surprise Shizuo by running past him and escaping.

No, even if that worked, he knew his stamina wouldn't last much longer. He knew he wouldn't be able to go much longer if he kept running, and he also knew that Shizuo could probably run all day and night without tiring out. He couldn't escape.

Izaya spun around to attempt run anyway, he couldn't just roll over and get killed by Shizuo. When he turned he saw Shizuo standing there, staring at Izaya with a killing intent as he riped a pipe off of the wall of the alley to use as a weapon. The way that it was torn off caused the tip of the pipe to sharpen, there was no doubt that Shizuo could kill with it.

He took a step back as Shizuo stepped forward, despite his growing fear for his life, he managed to keep his cocky smirk plastered on his face as he drew his flick blade and pointed at Shizuo.

The blonde man in front of him just let out a soft laugh as he swung the dull edge of his make-shift weapon at Izayas hand. The swing knocked Izaya's last defense out of his hands, rickashayed it off of the alley walls, and caused it to land at Shizuo's feet.

"Looks like you've nowhere to run flea." Shizuo called out to him, victory ringing in his voice.

"We'll see about that Shizu-chan." Izaya retorted, glaring back at Shizuo, hatred burning in his eyes, fear slowly beginning to extinguish hatred's flame in their ruby coloring.

Without warning he made an attempt to run past Shizuo, but apparently that was exactly what the other man was counting on. Shizuo swung his pipe at Izaya, making contact with his stomach and flinging him back to where he was previously standing, only this time, on the floor clutching his stomach in pain.

_Damn. That hurt like hell._

Izaya looked up at Shizuo, grimacing at the pain he felt shooting from his stomach to the rest of his body. His eyes widened as he saw Shizuo bringing down another swing aimed at his head.

_Crap. I need to think. What do I-_

His thought was interrupted by the dulled clang of the pipe on his head. It started pounding, the world went hazy as he fell on his back. His thoughts were a blur as he was able to make out Shizuo bringing his weapon up a final time, sharp side down, for a killing blow.

_Why?_

_Why had it come to this?_

_This isn't what I wanted._

_I just wanted to mess with Shizu-chan._

_To tease him, push his buttons, and watch his angry reaction._

_I wasn't supposed to die._

_In truth I really-_

His thoughts were cut off as the pipe came down and he let out a scream of pain. He felt the hot, agonizing pain from the puncture overflow his body. The pain it brought was so overwhelming that he couldn't even feel the blood flowing steadily out of the wound, quickly covering his body.

As his vision failed him and he shut his eyes, he thought that he would rather die than feel such a massive amount of pain.

And that night, that is exactly what he did.

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><p>DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUN Fact: Izaya died. Fact: This is not the end. I still have many plans for this fiction~ Thank you all so much for reading! Please follow up on the updates and REVIEW! 3<p> 


	2. A Wish

I do not own Durarara or any of it's characters.

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><p>Chapter One, A Wish.<p>

POV: SHIZUO

Shizuo tossed and turned in his sleep. Memories of the murder flashing through his mind, robbing him of any sort of peaceful rest. He had woken up a few times during the night from nightmares screaming, only to run to the bathroom to vomit.

He had killed a man.

With his own hands, he killed Izaya Orihara.

He had never thought the guilt of taking a life, even if it was Izaya, would be this intense. He hated Izaya with every fiber of his being, but he wished more than anything to bring the flea back, Or at least undo everything that had happened that night.

He had let rage control him, and anger fuel his actions. He barely knew what he was doing after he had hit Izaya across the stomach. The only thoughts passing through his mind were that of ridding himself and the rest of 'Bukuro of the flea.

So, he did.

The thoughts of last night woke him up again, making him feel nauseous, he ran to the bathroom once again. When he had come back into his room he could see the faint glow of sunlight coming from his window, it was dawn. He sighed and figured that there was really no point in trying to go back to sleep.

He gathered some clothes from his drawer and slipped them on then headed out the door. The sun wasn't completely up yet, he figured he would still be able to go out unnoticed.

After it had happened, unsure of what to do with Izaya's body, he had left him in that alley and concealed his body with some debris that were lying nearby. Some boxes and boards that were big enough to stack on top of him. This morning he would go back to put it in a dumpster, take his keys from the body, and feign a going away document on his computer.

Shizuo wasn't ready to go to jail, or get executed, for this. The document was for safety, not many would miss the flea, and he had too much of a bad reputation for the police to start an investigation on him. But Shizuo knew that if it got out that Izaya was killed, he would be one of the first suspects.

His thoughts halted as he turned the corner of the alleyway where he had taken Izaya's life. He froze in place at what he saw, eyes widened in shock. He had expected to see Izaya's body, covered in the random trash he had piled on top of it to hide him. But that was anything but what he saw.

To his surprise he found himself locking eyes with and Izaya Orihara, kneeling next to his uncovered, and lifeless body.

_No way._

_Impossible._

_I KILLED him._

_Why is he sitting there... and next to his body?_

The two of them stared at each other, Shizuo's tan, camel-like eyes locked with Izaya's crimson colored eyes.

"Shizu-chan... I'm dead..." Izaya practically whispered, releasing Shizuo from his, shocked, trance -like state. He nodded as Izaya went on.

"You killed me... and yet... here I am... Why? You, you can see me can't you? This is real... right?"

Shizuo nodded. "I-I can... I don't know... I know that I'm not dreaming right now... and you... you're dead... you can't possibly be dreaming this... right?" His speech was broken due to shock. It was all too unreal.

"Why? Why did you kill me Shizuo?" Izaya looked up at him, shock and confusion turning into anger. "Why did you do it? I'm not even dead! Im here, I have no where to go, I can't feel anything, I know I'm not breathing, and so far you're the only to walk by this alley who can hear or see me! ...Why?"

Shizuo's eyes widened as he heard the other man's words. He had never imagined that Izaya's voice could be so angry and desperate sounding. More than that, the extent of what he had done to Izaya was beginning to sink in, and Shizuo didn't like it.

"I-I don't- I never meant- I-I didn't mean to kill you Izaya!" He practically yelled back at Izaya, desperation and regret clear in his voice.

"Don't give me that crap! I saw the look on your face when you brought down the last blow! It was my last living memory, Shizuo! That face... It wasn't the face of any human... That was the face of a monster!"

Shizuo cringed at the others words. Izaya's last living memory, was that of a monster prepared to kill him.

_What have I done?_

_Why did it have to come to that?_

_Why couldn't I control my anger?_

_As much as I hated him, I never really wanted this to happen to Izaya. I had known that._

_So, why?_

_He can't be seen, he can't feel, he can't do anything anymore. _

Shizuo did his best to reply calmly"I-I never meant for it to go that far... My... my anger was controlling me, I didn't realize what I was doing, until it was already done. I... I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't going to bring me back to life, Shizu-chan."

Ever word that Izaya spoke made the guilt that Shizuo felt feel worse.

"And now I'm stuck here. Not dead or alive. What the hell am I supposed to do? No one else can see me. What, am I supposed to just wait for oh who knows how long for some creep to come exorcise me or something?" He shot a glare at Shizuo. "Not happening. And I don't plan on spending eternity alone either."

"Well what the hell do you want me to do about it, flea? I had barely planned far enough to figure out what to do with your body!"

"You really are a stupid brute. I'm obviously still here for a reason. Stuff like this only happens when a person has something they want, but they die too soon for it to happen. So they stay on earth until whatever it is happens. You're the only one who can see me, so you're going to be the one help that wish, or whatever it is, come true."

He stared at Izaya, there was no way that was true. Stuff like that only happened in fiction... but then so did the dead not, well, dying. He was about to refuse Izaya's demand, but knew he had no right to. After all, it was his fault Izaya was like this. He almost felt responsible for making sure Izaya passed on. He sighed and looked back at Izaya.

"Well, what's you're wish flea?"

Izaya looked at Shizuo in surprise for a second, obviously because Shizuo had agreed so quickly. He shifted into a cross legged position and rested his chin on his hand that was propped up on his knee. He thought for a few seconds before he sighed.

"I have no idea..."

Shizuo let out an irritated sigh and scratched his head. "Well If you don't know then I can't exactly help you flea."

"It's not my fault I'm like this you know! I didn't ask to come back. I'll stay with you until I figure out what my wish is, and you'll help me get it, whatever it is."

Shizuo groaned, he still hated Izaya, and hated how he was probably stuck with him until he passed on. But what he hated most was the controlling attitude he was giving him. It was annoying, and that god complex he had was one of the many reasons why he hated Izaya.

With an irritated twitch of his eyebrow he agreed. "Fine, flea. Have it your way."

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><p>As promised, Izaya is BACK! Thank you so much for reading! (The Shizaya will come I promise!) I forgot to mention it in the prologue.. but reviews are much appreciated! I'll post chapter 2 ASAP x3<p> 


	3. Evolution

To Find The Things Not Spoken

By, Takaratoast

Chapter 2, Evolution

**POV SHIZUO**

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><p>After many complaints, Shizuo was able to lift Izaya's lifeless body into the dumpster and bury it in garbage so that it couldn't be found. Izaya claimed that his body should be treated with care, and not just dumped off in some garbage can. However, when Shizuo pointed out that if he brought it anywhere else he would obviously be carrying around a dead body, and people would become curious as to how the man had died. This could lead to Shizuo being charged for murder, and Izaya's wish never coming true; hearing this, Izaya quieted down.<p>

"We're going back to my house." Izaya had said as Shizuo had just finished concealing Izaya's body with garbage.

Tch. Damn flea. Ordering me around like this.

Sure, Shizuo wasn't going to argue, but the way he was barking out commands was going to piss him off before Izaya even thought about his wish.

He wondered why Izaya would want to go back home, he was dead... it wasn't like he needed anything, right? Nonetheless he began to walk towards Izaya's house without complaint. He took out a cigarette from his vest pocket and lit it, placing it in between his lips and inhaling harsh smoke through its paper wrapping. He hoped the cigarette would calm him down a bit. Despite how he was acting, Shizuo's nerves were going crazy.

There was no guarantee that no one would discover Izaya's lifeless body in that a dumpster. Even if he did make it look like Izaya had just left town, with evidence like that it was inevitable for Shizuo to be convicted of murdering Izaya. Which wouldn't be wrong, but if he got caught, he couldn't help Izaya pass on.

Izaya followed Shizuo to his home. "I need to send some emails, write a note, something. Until I pass on, you're not allowed to get arrested for this. I don't really care after that, but unfortunately for now, you're the only one who can help me."

It was a bit comforting to know that he wasn't the only one who was thinking about that. At least Izaya was with him on the whole not-getting-killed-for-this thing. Receiving capital punishment for homicide, wasn't exactly on Shizuo's to-do list for life.

Izaya let out an irritated sound, obviously realizing he had to depend on Shizuo. "To think, having to rely on a protozoic monster for my eternal rest."

"Oh shut up, flea. At least it was me and not some bastard off the streets."

"Oh, yes. You're more than that, Shizu-chan. You're the strongest bastard off the streets." He glanced over at Shizuo a smirk present on his face.

Cocky ass.

"And you were the sliest bastard on the streets. But I suppose now that you're dead, that reputation is over with."

Though he had obviously said it to get under Izaya's skin, the informant just smirked through squinted eyes at the comment. "And is that really such a bad thing? Honestly if I had to live with that reputation forever, I only would have grown tired of it. After all, for humans to truly be satisfied we must constantly be changing, evolving. It is this evolution that makes life interesting, that makes it worth living."

He let out a mischievous snicker before continuing. "But even I couldn't have predicted that this same evolution that made entertaining, would also make life after death just as amusing."

Shizuo gave Izaya a cautious glace. "What do you mean, flea?"

"Well, you can see the state I am in as dying and becoming a disembodied soul, or as simple evolution. Though not many would side with evolution, I am no longer held down by the same forces that I was when I was alive, I could tell right away."

Shizuo raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean." He took one last drag of his cigarette, dropped it, and stomped it out on the black asphalt beneath them.

An, almost playful, smirk found its place on Izaya's face. "Well, like this."

Shizuo looked over at Izaya to see him floating a few inches off the ground. He began circling Shizuo, causing him to spin around to keep his eyes on Izaya. Shizuo was surprised at first, eyes widened at the sight of Izaya floating.

After a few seconds of this he sighed; thinking of how foolish it was for him to not expect something like this. After all, that was the sort of thing ghosts could generally do. He thought about that statement for a minute, ignoring Izaya's attempts to freak him out by flying around or phasing through nearby walls.

_Was Izaya a ghost?_

_Generally that's what you would call someone who was dead... but still there. _

He shrugged. _Whatever, it doesn't matter. _

He kept walking and, seeing Izaya was still testing his "phaseability" with a nearby wall, he reached out a hand to pull Izaya forward to keep walking.

His hand went right through Izaya's arm. It surprised him at first.

_So, I can't touch him... what else can and can't he do now?_

He sighed and headed back in the direction of Izaya's apartment, Izaya following close behind, walking, not flying.

_This ghost stuff would take some getting used to._

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><p>( So i wrote this... then a week or two later watched episode 12 of the show... and flipped out when Izaya started talking about evolving to avoid the mundane... x3 Unintentional quote(?) FTW yeah... I wrote the original draft of this chapter a while ago and am now like =_= r-really? I edited a lot of this and still am not completely happy with how it turned out *shrugs* we ... THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS. Honestly I don't care what they say, getting a review for this story makes my day/week/month/year/decade/life. Anyway, enough with my ranting, I'll try posting the next chapter later this week~


	4. The plan

To Find The Things Not Spoken

By, Takaratoast

Chapter 3: Whats the plan?

**POV: SHIZUO**

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><p>By the time that they had gotten back to Izaya's house they had confirmed a few things that Izaya could and couldn't do.<p>

He could phase through walls or objects at will.

He could, without a doubt, fly. Though, Izaya preferred walking, "The evolution of being able to fly," he had said, "is, and always has been completely unnecessary for the human race."

Izaya could touch inanimate objects; cars, walls, or any other random object. However, Izaya could not touch Shizuo, or anything else that was living.

While he could technically "touch" them by placing his hand or body up against who or whatever he was touching, if he applied any pressure to them, Izaya would phase right through them and the living thing that had made contact with could not sense of feel Izaya's touch.

Izaya also couldn't lift heavy objects, or relatively light ones either. Something heavier than a piece of paper would fall through his hands after he held it for too long. He was also left with the muscular strength of a toddler. Perhaps that was simply because he no longer had muscles, either way he couldn't lift anything, even for a second, that weighed any more than his laptop.

"Okay," Shizuo said as Izaya had finish sending some emails saying he was leaving town. (He could press down the keys on a keyboard.) He sent them to people like Shinra, Shiki, Namie, and customers he had upcoming appointments with. The few people in Ikebukuro and Shinjuku who would actually notice that the male informant was gone. "So, now we know what you can and can't do as a... ghost..."

Izaya shot him a glance at the word "ghost". Apparently he didn't like that word.

_Whatever. It's what he is so why bother trying to come up with a better way to put it? Evolved? Right. Since when is dying considered evolution?_

He winced when he remembered Izaya's death. He still hated the idea that he killed someone... But the fact that Izaya was still there, and that he could make sure that he rests peacefully, made him feel a little better about it. A little.

"Now we need to figure out what it'll take to make you pass on... Your... wish, do you have ANY idea of what it could be?"

Izaya sat back on the couch in his apartment and let out a hum of thought.

"Hmm~ Could it be to have seen Shizu-chan dead? Or to have killed you myself~?" He asked, a devilish smirk present on his face.

"Well if it is, your out of luck. There's no way I'm getting killed over this."

"Oh but Shizu-chan, you're the one that killed me, wouldn't that just be fair?"

"Not happening." He sighed. "Besides, what if that isn't even your wish in the first place? If it isn't, and I die, you're screwed."

Izaya let out a sigh. "It was a joke Shizu-chan, not meant to be taken seriously."

"Of course it was," he replied, a hint of sarcasm radiating off of his words. "Now seriously Izaya, do you have any ideas?"

Izaya fell silent for a moment. By the distant look in his eyes Shizuo could tell that he was thinking. The look was almost charming, so different than the cocky smirk Shizuo usually saw.

He caught himself smiling, watching Izaya as he thought, and looked away irritated. He cursed at himself inwardly.

_What the hell was that?_

He didn't have time to question himself any further when the light came back in Izaya's eyes and he answered Shizuo.

"I know that every time I went to Ikebukuro, it was a sort of goal to not get into a fight with you."

"Huh? I thought you came looking for trouble?"

"Sometimes I did~, I won't lie. But I had told you quite a few times that I was just passing through, or that I was only there for Russia Sushi." He stretched, lifting his arms over his head. "But you never listened, so I never expected you to believe me."

Shizuo felt a twinge of regret, needless to say, he never LIKED fighting with the flea. He just thought Izaya was up to something and needed to be stopped. Of course he would think Izaya was lying when he told him he wasn't up to anything. After all, 99% of the time, if random violent crap was happening, Izaya was somehow involved. Maybe, it was okay to have faith in that last 1%... sometimes.

"Sorry..." He mumbled an apology.

"No, no, it's fine~ It isn't like I would expect anything less from you."

He sighed. "So is there anything else?"

"Hmm, well there's also that Ruri Hijiribe girl."

"What about her?"

"I heard Saburo say something about going to her concert in a day or two. I'm honestly a fan, I would have liked to go, but work prevented it."

"So then you want to go to a concert?"

"I guess so."

He sighed. Concert tickets weren't cheap. Especially when they were so last minute. He would be lucky to get one for a couple hundred bucks, but getting two? ... Wait, he would only need one for himself wouldn't he?

"Alright. I can get a ticket at the door. You're helping pay for this. It's your wish and I'm not exactly made of money."

Izaya nodded thoughtfully.

"I could do that. After all I have nothing else to do with my money, now that I'm dead."

He still wasn't comfortable with that.

"Right. So then, when's the concert?"

"I think he said the day after tomorrow, at around four or five."

"Alright." He looked at the time. It was still early, around 9 am. "So then, Ikebukuro today, Ruri in a couple days, and hope that one of them is your wish?"

Izaya stood up and nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

Shizuo stood up as well and headed for the door with Izaya, sighing on his way out.

This is where the real work began.

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><p>UGH. these short chapters are annoying the ever loving CRAP out of me. . . I thought about melding a couple together but it just wouldn't work right... -le sigh- well this is the second to last short chapter, after the next one they are long and beautiful~ I'm honestly questioning my mindset when I wrote some of these. ah well~ Again THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU for reading and for the reviews~~~ rabu rabu!<p> 


	5. NOT a date

To Find The Things Not Spoken

By, Takaratoast

Chapter 4, NOT a date!

**POV: SHIZUO**

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><p>It was odd for Shizuo to think that he would be spending the whole day with Izaya. He just hoped that what they had planned would take up the entire day. Shizuo went over their, mutually decided, plans for the day in his mind. An arcade Izaya had always wanted to check out, Russia Sushi for lunch, a bookstore, a movie, then the park. He sighed.<p>

_This line-up was almost like some sort of da-_

_No. _

_No._

_No._

_Don't even think like that Shizuo._

_This is just Izaya hanging out in 'Bukuro for the day so that he can pass on. _

_... I'm babysitting more than anything. _

_Yeah..._

He shook away his odd thoughts and kept walking, Izaya beside him, towards the arcade. "So what's so great about this place? I didn't think that a guy like you would be into games."

"Oh but there's a lot you dont know about me Shizu-chan~" the raven haired informant replied. "Haven't you ever heard not to judge a book by its cover?" He shot a teasing smirk at Shizuo, who obviously ignored it.

"You didn't answer my question Izaya."

He frowned and gave a light shrug. "I heard that they had an interesting interactive horse racing game that I always had wanted to tr-" He stopped mid sentence and stared at Shizuo, obviously once again surprised by the man.

"Shizu-chan, did you just call me Izaya?"

Shizuo shrugged. He hadn't even noticed it himself, but he guessed he had. It finally occurred to him that he never really called Izaya by his name. He always referred to him as "flea" or "louse" or anything else BUT his actual name. He didn't really have a reason, it had just become natural for him to do so.

"I guess I did... is it a problem?"

"No... just surprising~ What, am I not a flea anymore~?"

He looked at Izaya for a second, thinking carefully about what he was going to say. "You're not as bad anymore. I can honestly say I think I like you more dead than alive." Blunt. Being blunt was something he was always good at, saying what he meant without a second thought, and this was just one shining example of this trait.

Izaya smirked , "So then you don't regret killing me? How cruel, you know, you really are a monster, Shizu-chan."

He shot Izaya a glare, though it had less venom then the many death glares that he had given Izaya over the years. "That's not what I said." He sighed, "Whether I regret it or not, I don't have a constant urge to throw a vending machine at you anymore. Maybe it's 'cuz I already killed you, but your attitude doesn't piss me off as much anymore."

Izaya's smirked almost widened, his voice had a teasing ring to it. "Oh really~? Shizu-chan? Could it be that you're starting to fall for me~? How creepy, I am dead you know~?"

Now THAT pissed him off. Probably more that it should have. He couldn't figure out why he was so sensitive to the question, he just was. In the back of his mind something warned that it could be true, but he pushed the thought out. There was no way.

"Like hell I'm falling for you. Just shut up and walk, we're almost there aren't we?"

Izaya laughed and quieted down, lost in his own thoughts.

Of course the silence let Shizuo's mind wander back to Izaya's question, and consider if there was truth behind it... Of course there wasn't. While he didn't HATE Izaya anymore, he sure as hell wasn't falling in love with him. Hell, he had only known this side of Izaya for a few hours, the idea of him falling in love so soon was... ridiculous.

And again... today was NOT a date.

He sighed as Izaya phased through the door, and he opened it for himself. The arcade was filled with games, shooters, vintage games, modern games, DDR's, table games, and then near the back was the game Izaya had mentioned prior to their arrival. The room was almost empty at this hour, being so early in the morning. It wasn't even 10 o'clock yet, and it was a weekday when the regular customers to the arcade would most likely be in school. Shizuo felt a bit relieved at this, it meant that Izaya could play a game without some one seeing the game move on its own.

"Do we need tokens or something?" He whispered to Izaya, while there wasn't many people around, there was still a few, and Shizuo didn't want so seem like some sort of lunatic talking to himself and whatnot.

Izaya nodded and pointed to a machine in the corner of the room. "Yeah, you can get them from there."

Shizuo went over to the machine, inserted a bill, and collected the tokens that were spit out of the machine. He walked back over to Izaya. "We have twenty tokens, that's enough for twenty games. Which one first?"

Izaya thought for a moment, then walked over to one of the older games, Galiga. Shizuo put in a token then stood back and waited for Izaya to press "Start". But instead, Izaya looked back at Shizuo expectatly, waiting for something.

_Is he waiting for me? _

_What does he want me to do?_

Izaya sighed. "You aren't honestly going to come into an arcade, put tokens in the games, then watch them play itself are you?"

Izaya was right, that was a bit ridiculous. "Well what the hell am I supposed to do!"

"Simple. Stand in front of the game like you're playing it, put your hands on the controls, but just let me move them. I'm surprised that you couldn't think of something so simple." He wore his trademark smirk as he spoke.

He thought about this, ignoring the end of Izaya's statement. "But wait, wouldn't I be standing where you would need to... so then..." He shook his head. "Izaya, I am not letting you stand INSIDE me." THAT would just be TOO weird.

Izaya let out an amused snort. "All you have to do is stand back a bit and I'll stand forward a bit. Simple really."

Sigh.

"Fine."

He let Izaya stand where he needed to be for the game, then stood behind him and put his hands on the controls. If Shizuo could touch Izaya he would practically have his arms around the other. He felt a light blush appear on his face, for no reason apparent to him.

_Damn it Shizuo what the hell are you blushing for! Hes not even actually there! _

_..._

_And even if he was you shouldn't be blushing!_

_Its IZAYA for crying out loud!_

_So... why does the fact that it IS Izaya not bother him... at ALL?_

He tried to dismiss his thoughts and focus on the game being played before him. It wasn't exactly interesting, but it was better than trying to discover the reason behind his pinkening face.

They repeated this for as many games at they had tokens for, the most interesting, by far, was the horse racing game that they had came to this particular arcade for. Izaya had to tell Shizuo how he wanted to touch the screen and where each time. They ended up backing out of that one early because of the frustration it caused in the blonde. To Izaya's disappointment he hadn't even been able to participate in a race before Shizuo had already threatened to break the game. But even so, Shizuo couldn't deny that he was actually enjoying himself with Izaya.

...

But it still was NOT a date.

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><p><em>I IS UNHAPPY. I feel like Shizu-chans feelings are being rushed! *pout* UGH that's what happens when I go back and read things from, just about, FOREVER ago. Pleh XP I think this chapter is rushed . BTW Izaya played galiga for one reason and one reason alone: I am a galiga GEEK. I will play it for hours on end xD ANYWAY~ I love your reviews, you should seehear my reactions when I see the number go up ^^ THANK YOU FOR READING!_


	6. Friends?

To Find The Things Not Spoken

By, Takaratoast

Chapter 5: ...Friends?

**POV: SHIZUO**

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><p>By the time they had left the arcade it was about noon and, because he had skipped breakfast, Shizuo was hungry. He was glad to be out of the arcade, he would be lying if he had said that he had gotten used to their little gaming set up. In fact, it only became more awkward for Shizuo. He didn't get it, twenty four hours ago he had a burning hatred for Izaya, and now, so suddenly, all feelings of anger and hatred had vanished.<p>

He did admit that Izaya was acting a bit different since he had died. It wasn't as if he was an entirely different person or anything, but there was definitely something different. He wasn't constantly trying to piss Shizuo off anymore, and, in general, he was just less of an ass. He sighed, pushing these thoughts to the back of his mind so that he wouldn't think to hard about it. He focused his attentions back to lunch. He guessed that Izaya wouldn't be able to eat, why would he need to? He was dead.

"Hey, lets stop for lunch, I skipped out on breakfast today so I'm starved."

_That, and I think I vomited about_ _five times last night. I think it would be safe to say that my stomach is absolutely empty._

Izaya nodded walking next to Shizuo. "Alright, Russia Sushi? You can get a private room there so we can still talk. You're not a very good whisperer Shizu-chan," he teased. "I'm honestly surprised that no one noticed you talking to yourself at the arcade."

"Aw shut up. If I was any quieter you wouldn't have been able to hear me over the sound affects from all the games."

Izaya shrugged, "True." After he said this Izaya fell silent and continued walking, looking down at the ground in front of him.

_The hell?_

_That's it? Just true?_

Even with Izaya's new attitude, Shizuo still expected some sort of teasing remark to come back at him from Izaya, but he just agreed, simply and plainly. He shook his head and took out a cigarette, lighting it and taking a long drag. That was another thing Shizuo didn't want to think to much about, the way Izaya had changed. Dying couldn't have changed his attitude this much could it?

He sighed and inhaled more smoke.

_Whatever. Just don't think about it too much, if you do you might regret it..._

"You know that smells terrible right?"

Izaya's interjection interrupted his thoughts.

Sigh.

"So you can barely touch, you can't taste, because you cant eat, but you can smell?"

"Apparently I can, because _that_," he pointed at the cigarette balancing between Shizuo's lips, "smells awful. How did you get into such a nasty habit anyway?"

"Hmm," he took in another breath. "It was around high school. Some kid told me it would help calm me down and I guess you could say I was curious." He shrugged off the topic. "It worked... to some extent... so I never stopped."

"Those things will kill you one day."

"Oh shut up, haven't you been trying to do that since we met?"

"Yes, but **_I_** would never actually do it."

The emphasis he put on the word I brought Shizuo back to another subject he'd rather not think about. The murder, and his chances of getting caught for it. He dropped the bud of his cancer stick on the ground and put it out with his foot. He had too much on his mind for a simple cigarette to remedy. Besides, they were outside of Russia Sushi now.

He waved at Simon, who gave him his usual too-big-to-be-human grin, and told him he would be eating in a private room. Shizuo grabbed a menu and headed to a room near the back of the restaurant; he sat down cross-legged at one end of the table, Izaya doing the same at the other end.

Shizuo glanced over the menu before deciding on the fruit sushi platter. It was relatively cheap and it was one of his favorite things on the menu, probably because of how sweet it was, though he never really bothered to question why. He set the menu down and looked over at Izaya who was looking around the room, a bored expression on his face.

The feel of the room was a bit awkward, it occurred to Shizuo that he and Izaya didn't actually have a lot to talk about. Or maybe, it was that they had never tried talking before. He sighed as his mind wandered back to the day, so many years ago, that Shinra had introduced the two of them.

"Hey Shizuo..." The man across from him interrupted his thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you attack me back then... when we met I mean?"

Shizuo looked over at Izaya, a bit surprised by the question, and the implication that they had been thinking about the same exact thing.

_Is he reading my mind or something?_

He scratched his head awkwardly for a moment as he thought about it. It was so long ago that he barely remembered why he had done it.

"I don't really remember... I think... I was pissed at the people I was already fighting. Then when you showed up with that cocky smirk on your face, it must have really set me off. I think... that in reality... I was more surprised that angry. But, 'caus I was already mad at the other bastards, I just took the rest of it out on you..."

"Surprised?"

"Yeah... you were the first one who had ever gave me a look like that. Like, you knew exactly what I was capable of but still thought that you could take me." He let out a soft chuckle. "And I guess you were right."

Izaya shot a small smirk at Shizuo, "Well apparently not entirely, you still won in the end."

"Yeah..."

_But I never wanted to..._

The rest of his thoughts were interrupted by Simon bursting into the room to take Shizuo's order. He had his ridiculous smile on his face, and spoke about as loudly as possible in broken Japanese, like any other time Shizuo had come to eat at Russia Sushi. He left after collecting Shizuo's order.

The blonde looked back to Izaya.

"To be honest I didn't start hating you right away... I guess the more that I could never beat you in a fight... the more that I resented you."

"And that could never be helped; no matter how many times I told you I wanted to talk, you would always end up throwing things at me. So, we just kept fighting, letting your hatred for me bloom."

Shizuo looked down, suddenly feeling a bit ashamed of attacking Izaya so often, most of the time without a good reason.

"But there's no helping that now, I'd be lying if I said I never deserved those beatings. Though I do wonder sometimes what it would have been like if we had met another way. Would we have just met and went on with our lives? Would we have been friends? Would we..." His sentence sort of trailed off as Izaya shook his head as if he was dismissing a thought.

"I don't know Izaya... Maybe we would have, but it's not like thinking about it will change anything."

Izaya sighed and nodded, he opened his mouth as if he was about to speak, but was cut off by Shizuo's words.

"If anything we should be worrying about where we are now right? I mean... I don't hate you, and I don't think you hate me... so what does that mean? I've never imagined anything but hatred towards you... So now that I don't hate you... I'm just a little confused. I mean... is it okay to think of you as a friend?"

_As anything more than that?_

He blushed a bit his mental question.

_NO._

_NO._

_That is NOT okay._

_Izaya is a man... and so am I... that's just WRONG... right?_

_Where the hell do these thoughts keep coming from?_

"I think so... I mean why not? You and I both know that neither of have exactly had out fair share of friends in our life." He sighed, "Ive always wondered what sort of a friend you'd make Shizu-chan." The man let a smirk surface itself on his face.

Shizuo nodded, "So friends then?"

_I'm friends with Izaya Orihara..._

It had an odd ring to it... Shizuo couldn't deny that he didn't exactly like it, and the frown on his face didn't mask it well. Though, it was more likely that the root of his frown was his confusion as to why he was so disappointed that Izaya was so quick to settle for being friends.

The conversation died awkwardly as Simon came in with Shizuo's food. He set down the sushi and left with his usual lines about sushi and such. Everyone knew that the man made no sense, but they all found it hilarious, so no one said anything. In fact he found himself smiling as he watched Simon leave. He looked over at Izaya to see him doing the same.

Shizuo quickly ate his food; the movie they were planning to see was at 1:30, it was about 12:15, if they were going to walk there, they would need to leave soon to make it on time. The theater was all the way on the other side of town and if they were going to get a good seat, they needed to get there early. He finished up, paid the bill, and they left, headed towards the cinema.

The movie they were going to see was a re-screening of Vampire Ninja: Carmilla Attack, his younger brother Kasuka's first big film. It was one of Shizuo's favorites that Kasuka had been in, and if he was paying for his movie ticket it would be a movie he wanted to see. And Izaya had never seen it before, so he was fine with it.

It was past three when the movie ended, and though he thoroughly denied it, Shizuo was close to tears by the end of the movie. "Crying isn't something a man does." He had said stubbornly when Izaya tried to poke fun at him for almost crying when the couple in the film parted ways. He was laughing when he left the theater, at himself for getting so worked up by the movie, and at the corny jokes from the film that Izaya was quoting. He began to realize that he was thoroughly enjoying his time with Izaya. With the flea that he had once hated so much.

They made their way to Izaya's favorite bookstore. Shizuo ordered a drink and sat down at a small table and pretended to be reading a magazine that Izaya was interested in. Shizuo was amazed at how long Izaya could go on reading, and how fast he was. Izaya would ask Shizuo to turn the page when he was only a quarter of the way through reading it. But then, Shizuo never was much of a reader.

It was nearly sunset when Izaya had had his fill of reading and they were making their way to the park. Shizuo walked in silence his mind flooded with thoughts.

What _did_ he think about Izaya?

What was _OK_ to think?

He thought back to his earlier question.

_Is it okay to think of Izaya as more than a friend?_

_I mean... I don't hate him... and I know I'm past indifference..._

_And, I definitely don't like the idea of him being my friend..._

_Does that mean... that I LIKE the flea?_

He looked over at Izaya, walking next to him and quickly looked away, his cheeks slightly pinkening.

_Maybe..._

_But I sure as hell know I can't be friends with him..._

When they got to the park he sat down underneath a large tree and looked towards the setting sun.

"Hey... Izaya..."

Izaya sat down next to him, turning his head he looked up at him. "Yeah?"

He sighed, "Uh, would you be... hurt.. I guess... if I told you that I actually... didn't want to be your friend?"

Izaya didn't react to the question, he just answered plainly, "It depends on why."

He sighed, his reasoning wasn't going to make any sense... he wasn't about to tell Izaya he liked him... when he was still trying to confirm that himself.

"I... it's not that I still hate you... being friends just feels wrong... I don't want to be your friend... but I don't dislike you..."

"Well then, what do you want to be?"

"... I don't know..." It was true. He honestly didn't know what he wanted them to be.

Izaya sighed, turning his head to hide an amused smile. "Well, when you figure it out, don't hesitate to let me know~"

Shizuo nodded, he watched the sun set behind the tall buildings of Ikebukuro. He stared at the sky, as the color was drained from it, and stars began to dance in the night sky. He didn't notice when it happened, but at some point he looked over at Izaya, who was watching the sky as Shizuo was, and saw that they had drifted closer. If they could touch, Izaya would practically have been leaning on Shizuo. As he looked back at the sky he felt a smile force its way onto his face.

_Maybe... liking the flea... was OK._

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><p><em>I called his cigarette a cancer stick... because of reasons. xD I was so tempted to call it that.. so I did... . So, ... I quite LOVE this chapter... AND NO MORE SISSY GROSS SHORT CHAPTERS YAAAY I am also hoping to post the last chapter on Valentines Day btw... so I have 7 days to write like... four ... or maybe three chapters and an epilogue . Fuck school work. I'll write fanfiction xD so yeah, I'm caught up to what I've finished now... next update will be in a day or two. Thanks for reading, thanks for reviewing, I LOVE YOU ALL 3 <em>


	7. Falling Rain

So this chapter was more or less inspired by the song that Ruri Hijiribe sings IN durarara, its called Rain Tears. A friend found the english lyrics and I had to do it... this is kinda a filler chapter anyway . (just to let the happy last). So yeah, POV swap FTW! this really was kinda a spontanious chapter... Anyway... Here it is!

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><p>To Find The Things Not Spoken<p>

By, Takaratoast

Chapter 6, Falling Rain.

**POV: IZAYA**

Izaya was lazily flipping through the channels on Shizuo's TV the next morning, stopping when he saw the Ruri Hijiribe music video for Rain Tears. Ironic really, the soft _pitter patter_ coming from above him told Izaya that it was indeed raining.

A soft smile formed on his face in anticipation for the concert tomorrow. Rain Tears was one of his favorite songs by her, he hoped that she would perform it at the concert. When the video ended he sighed and looked towards the direction of Shizuo's room.

_When is he going to get up? Honestly, It's already almost 10:30. Does he sleep in this late all the time?_

He sighed, having been up for just over two hours already Izaya was growing bored. There really wasnt anything on TV, morning television universally sucked. He turned it off and sprawled back out on the couch.

_I wonder how long it will take Shizuo to grant my wish._

He closed his eyes, expression unreadable. He had known what it was for a while now, but it wasn't something he could just TELL Shizuo, and it wouldn't be the same if he knew it was his wish.

_Three words. But it could take a lifetime to hear him say._

Eyes closed, he drifted off into a day dream, much like the actual dream he had seen play the night before. It wasn't detailed, but it was there, he was there, Shizuo. He was talking, but his speech was blurred, he couldn't make out much, but there were three distinct words that he could hear. He watched Shizuo's lips as he spoke them.

"I love you."

Izaya's eye's shot open. He let out a light, embarrassed, laugh.

_Dying... really changes a person doesn't it?_

To his dismay(?) what Shinra had told him was right, but it took him dying to realize it, that he did love Shizuo. And who could have guessed that the one thing preventing him from his final resting place, or as Izaya liked to call it, his final evolution, was the lack of returned feelings from a certain blonde brute.

The thought both pained him and disgusted Izaya. It hurt because he knew it was true, and it may literally take forever to be loved back. The disgust came from disbelief. Disbelief that Izaya Orihara could be so in love with someone that he couldn't even die properly. The disgust didn't at all change how he felt though, it only confirmed it.

He had realized it the second he saw Shizuo when he had come to dispose of Izaya's body. Izaya hoped that he had done a good job of masking his shock and anger at himself by directing it towards Shizuo. He had at least done well enough to fool Shizuo, and that was all that mattered.

Tired of his own thoughts, he looked back towards the room and, as if on cue, Shizuo opened the door and stepped out. He headed directly to the fridge to get some milk, Izaya figured he did this every morning. He was still partially asleep, Izaya could tell by the way he walked, and the expression on his face.

"Morning Shizu-chan~" he chimed.

Shizuo turned his head towards his Izaya, in his tired state, obviously almost forgetting Izaya was there.

"Eh? Oh, morning, flea." He muttered the words as he lifted a glass of cold milk to his lips and drank from it. The milk seemed to wake him up as he looked around looking almost confused.

"Is it raining?"

"How observant of you Shizu-chan~" he teased, "Indeed, it is."

He sighed, looking a bit disappointed, "Alright then," he set the glass in the sink and leaned against the counter in the kitchen. "So then, what do you wanna do today? I had a couple things in mind... but they're no good with the rain."

Izaya stood up and joined Shizuo in the kitchen, hopping up and sitting on a counter across from him. "Hmm well I doubt that we'll be able to do anything that could be my wish with this rain..." Izaya let out a dramatic sigh and let his gaze swoop across the small kitchen to settle on Shizuo. "Why don't we just stay here today?"

Shizuo shrugged, "Sure, it's free," he smiled, "but what can we do?"

Izaya thought for a second, "We could watch a movie, play a board game or something, and stuff like that." He let out a short laugh, "Just a typical rainy day."

The blonde man nodded, "Alright... I think I have some books I've never read in my closet somewhere too... if you wanted to read." He scratched his head and headed back into his room, Izaya on his heals, and to his closet.

After about a minute of hearing the man sift through his closet, Shizuo let out a sound of accomplishment as he pulled out a large box labeled "BOOKS". "Here they are." He set it down on the ground in between he and Izaya, and opened it carefully, revealing a large number of books.

Izaya smiled at the treasures that Shizuo had unveiled. Izaya loved books and reading, if work had allowed him to take more interest in fiction, his days would have been spent reading fantasy instead of fact. As his eyes draped over the small array of books in front of him, they stopped on a single cover.

"Memoirs of a Geisha, I've heard its good, that's an American author isn't it? Have you read it?"

Shizuo's lips swept to one side of his face as he regretfully replied, "No, I'm not really much of a book person, these are mostly gifts from family and such."

Izaya nodded, he hadn't really expected Shizuo to be the book type, honestly he would have been surprised if Shizuo had said that he was. He quickly pulled the book out of the box before it had a chance to phase through his hands.

"Do you mind if I read for a while?" He looked up from the box of books at Shizuo who nodded and picked the book up for Izaya, reasoning that he might not be able to carry it to the living room without it falling through his hands. He pulled out a random book for himself as well.

"I might as well take a crack at one of these books myself, after all I've had them for a while, and I haven't even read any of them." Carrying the books with him, he walked into the living room. He handed the book to Izaya who promptly set it down on the arm rest of the couch that he was curled up against.

He kept his concentrated face as he stared at the pages of the book, feeling Shizuo's gaze hover over him for obviously longer than necessary. The feeling left when from the corner of his eyes he could see Shizuo turn to his own book, he let out a silent sigh of relief and focused his attentions on his book.

Time seemed to fly by in the world of his book. He was completely engrossed in the piece of fiction as he turned each page. Izaya loved to read, it was something he did often back when he was a student and had the time. However work seemed to take up almost every waking minute that Izaya had; if he had the choice, he would gladly spend his days reading.

He didn't even realized how long it had been when he heard Shizuo's stomach growl a few feet a way from him, pulling him back into reality. He looked up and blinked, almost completely forgetting everything that had happened over the past few days. Izaya carefully bent the corner of the page he was on and closed it then looked over at Shizuo.

"Shizu-chan, are you hungry?~"

Shizuo sighed, closing the book that he had barely made a dent in, "We'll I haven't eaten all day, of course I'm hungry."

Izaya got up and stretched, "Well, I've had my fill of reading for now, why don't you eat, and then we can play a game or something."

The idea of playing a board game on rainy a day was so childish, Izaya almost couldn't believe he was suggesting it. But then, it also sounded quite enjoyable, of course he only thought so because Shizuo would be his opponent. Though the games the two of them usually played were a bit more lethal, it would still be something that Izaya could possibly beat him at. He smiled inwardly at the idea, childish or not, a part of him honestly did want to lounge around with Shizuo and play games together with him on a rainy day.

"Hmm sure," Shizuo stood up and headed into the kitchen to make himself a sandwich, Izaya following behind. "I think I have The Game of Life somewhere," he paused mid-sentence for a moment to think. "If I remember right I stashed it away under my bed... I'll get it after I eat."

Izaya nodded and sat down on the counter across from Shizuo, watching him almost gracefully (if you could describe the way someone made a sandwich graceful, which Izaya wasn't sure you could) combine sliced meat, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise, cheese, and bread. The blonde smiled when his creation was finished and took a satisfied bite.

Once he had finished eating, Shizuo located the game and brought it out for the two of them to play. Sitting on either side of the coffee table in the living room, they began their game. Izaya was winning through most of the game, only fueling his old cocky attitude, until just before retirement when Shizuo came into a large sum of game money, naming him the victor of the game of life. Ironic really, since Izaya was dead, it in some way made sense that he didn't win at Life.

As they were cleaning up their game Izaya stopped for a minute and looked at Shizuo, holding his index finger to his lips, signaling Shizuo to quiet down, which he did with a questioning look on his face.

They sat there silent for a few seconds, the look on Shizuo's face obviously told Izaya that he had no idea what he was listening for. He wondered if Shizuo would catch on, of if he would have to point it out to him. Shizuo's whisper of a reply told him that he WOULD need to spell it out for the blonde ex-bartender.

"What am I listening for?"

"It isn't what you're listening for, but what sound is missing." He hinted.

It took the man another second but the look of realization on his face told him that he had finally gotten it. "The rain, it stopped.."

_I wonder it there's a rainbow out..._

Izaya nodded and stood up, heading for the door; Shizuo following behind him curiously. The two walked out of the building, Izaya's eyes darting around the sky until he had found it. The rainbow that had come with the ceasing of the rain. It was straight, hanging down from the heavens, seemingly meeting the ground like a magnificent ribbon, stretching across the sky. A smile formed on the former informants mouth, and as he glanced behind him he saw that the same expression was mimicked on Shizuo's face.

The look practically made his heart skip. Seeing Shizuo so happy, it was a rarity, something that he had almost never seen before.

_If only I could touch him... If only, if only I could take his hand and told him how I felt..._

He sighed, He couldn't... it wouldn't be the same if he told Shizuo first. But... he cursed himself inwardly for being dead. As much as he hated to admit it, to touch Shizuo was, honestly all he really wanted.

Shizuo was looking up at the ray of colors in the sky, he didn't even notice the approaching Izaya until he was right in front of him. He had a questioning look on his face.

"Izaya?"

Izaya smiled and hovered up a bit in front of Shizuo's face. Before the other could react, he leaned forward and let his lips hover over Shizuo's. If they could touch, Shizuo would have been captured in a soft kiss. He knew that Shizuo couldn't physically feel him, but it didn't matter. He lowered himself back to the ground and smiled.

"Thank you Shizu-chan." He said simply, before heading back into the house leaving a surprised and confused Shizuo alone, standing outside of his apartment.

* * *

><p>Hiroshi stood next to the a dumpster waiting for his fellow gang members to show up. They were planning on attacking some Yellow Scarfs later, and this abandoned ally way happened to be the perfect meet up place for them. He arrived somewhat early and was standing there long enough to notice a smell. It was horrid. He turned his nose to the dumpster, the source of the wretched sent. Normally he would have just assumed it was trash, but this smelt like decaying flesh.<p>

Climbing up to look over the edge of said dumpster, he noticed something odd. Something that should NEVER be in a dumpster. A finger, working up the courage that he supposed a badass dollar should have, he reached down and pulled, freeing the upper body of a lifeless Izaya Orihara.

He jumped back, gaping at what he had just seen.

"HOLY SHIT! THAT'S IZAYA ORIHARA!"

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><p>AND THE PLOT THICKENS! Here's a nice cliff hanger to leave you off on for a while~<br>So I have the next chapter written as well... its just sitting in the Doc Manager, I just need to write the chapter after it... That will be the final chapter... and honestly I'm a bit scared to... I'm kinda scared that It wont turn out as amazing as it is in my head... I also have to write about [SPOILER] so I'm afraid I wont be totally accurate... Then of course it will be the first fiction I will ever finish... that in itself is a bit scary... So yeah... I really dont know when Im going to write it... soon hopefully... Ive been put on rp probation by my favorite Shizu-chan until its finished 3 so yeah...  
>I LOVE DEM REVIEWS!<p> 


	8. A knock

Shizuo lay in bed, staring at the ceiling letting the events of the day before play through his mind. Did Izaya actually kiss him? Well... of course he didn't ACTUALLY kiss him. But... he TECHNICALLY kissed him. They weren't touching or anything, but... they would have been had it been a normal situation... right? He sighed and rested an arm across his forehead.

_What the hell?_

_Why is everything so confusing all of the sudden?_

After Izaya had "kissed" Shizuo he went back into the house and completely acted as if nothing had happened. He put in a movie for himself, and ended up finishing the book he had started, not mentioning it ever again. Actually, he hadn't really talked much after that either. Shizuo, of course, had followed suit, finding that to be the best plan of action. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel a little more awkward around Izaya than normal for the few hours in between when they had retreated back inside, and when Shizuo had gone to bed. However, he did know that it wasn't a bad awkward, more like, a self conscious awkward.

_Self conscious?_

_Ugh. Why the hell am I suddenly so self conscious around him?_

_I thought... I thought that I might like him... but... this is just insane. _

He rolled over onto his stomach, face buried in his pillow, letting out a little grunt.

_Ugh. Whatever right? If Izaya's just going to pretend that it never happened… Then I guess I'll do the same…_

He sighed into his pillow and pushed himself up. Glancing at the clock he realized that it was already almost 11, he had slept in pretty late again. Perhaps the events over the last few days were just taking a lot of his energy from him. Well, why wouldn't they, he had killed a man… but said man was lying on the couch in the living room. He saw this to be true as he opened the door to his room and walked through the living room to the kitchen for his morning glass of milk.

"Morning~" was the lazy call he got from Izaya, who had obviously not been up as early as he was yesterday.

He pulled out the milk carton and a medium glass, filling it almost to the brim with milk, and then quickly draining it. He set it down with a satisfied "Ahh" and addressed Izaya.

"Morning… So, what time should we leave for the concert? We should get there early, I still need to buy my ticket and then we'll need to find the seat… What time was it at again?"

"Four-thirty. Based on what you said, we should probably get there about an hour early, just to be safe."

Shizuo nodded. "Alright, then we should leave here at around three, or just before."

He glanced over at the clock, it was about 11 o'clock, they still had a few hours left before they would have to leave. He sighed and turned around, retrieving a towel from the hallway closet. "I'm gonna take a shower, I'll be out in a bit.

Izaya nodded and flopped back down onto the couch as Shizuo went back into his room to pick out some clothing, his usual bartender getup, of course. Closing the door of the bathroom behind him, Shizuo turned on the water, peeled off his clothing, and stepped into the warm spray of the shower.

Four hours later they were heading out the door on the way to the concert hall. For the first time it occurred to Shizuo that he had never really taken an interest in listening to Rurui's music, and that he didn't really know much about it at all.

"Hey Izaya, why do you like this Ruri girl, I mean, why are you a fan? I honestly never saw you as the music loving type."

"Hmm maybe this is weird but she kinda reminds me of my sisters, they way she looks I mean. That's what sparked my interest in her, but I do like her music. Though I'm not a diehard fan like Saburo, I still enjoy her music." He gave a soft shrug. "I had never been to a concert before either, so going to see her perform was something I wanted to do. Don't get me wrong, I don't adore her or anything, I love her the same as I love any other human."

He nodded. Based on what Izaya had said, it was likely that this concert wasn't Izaya's wish.

_Whatever_, he thought, looking up to approach the ticket window as they arrived at the concert hall.

_We're already here, and I have no idea what else it could be… so why go back and try to think about it… besides… do I really WANT Izaya to pass on?_

He sighed as he purchased his tickets. He hated that he was finding himself enjoying Izaya's company. Not because he didn't like that he liked being with Izaya, but because he knew that when his wish got granted Izaya would be gone… forever. His stomach turned at the thought. Did he really not like the idea of Izaya being gone that much?

_It's hard to believe but… after only two days… I know that I'd be lonely without him… _

He took his ticket from the sales lady and walked towards stadium to find his seat, Izaya walking slightly in front of him. Shizuo's eyes lingered on Izaya, ignoring the hustle and bustle of the people around them.

_When he gets his wish… Izaya will pass on… and I'll never be able to see him again._

Ouch.

He thought he felt a crack form on his heart at the thought. That hurt, more than expected, and it was just a mere thought.

_Why does the thought of not being with Izaya hurt so bad?_

_Why… why don't I want to think about what it will be like after he's gone… _

_Why?_

An unexpected thought crossed his mind that made his heart practically skip, and the blood rush to his face.

_Because you love him, that's why._

He almost stopped dead in his tracks at this; and, for once, he didn't immediately dismiss or deny it.

_Love?_

He kept his gaze on Izaya, his dark raven hair, which seemed to lightly bob up and down as he walked, his hands, interlocked and held together behind his back, his build, not exactly broad and masculine, but it was Izaya, and it suited him.

_It was perfect. _

He sighed.

_Love huh?_

A small smile formed on the blondes face as he looked up to the large building they were slowly approaching.

_Heh. Why not?_

When the concert had started Ruri was lifted up on the stage through a trap door. As the music for Rain Tears, which she opened with, began playing, smoke machines were running and lasers created a spectacular opening light show. The crowd was literally going wild, the music was loud, and there was barely any, what you would call, elbow room. It wasn't exactly something that Shizuo himself enjoyed, but Izaya seemed happy, and that's all that mattered.

His attention wasn't focused on the show in front of him, instead he was watching Izaya. He was watching the performance, a smile on his lips as he quietly sang along to himself. Shizuo smiled, at this point, while the music and the crowd was blasting around him, he realized that he didn't care about any of it. He could only see, he could only hear, Izaya.

He chuckled to himself.

_How cliché…_

He let out a soft sigh.

_I really do love him… don't I?_

Before he let Izaya notice Shizuo watching him he turned his attention back to the concert. He realized that he actually did enjoy Ruri's music, or maybe it was just because of the atmosphere, but her songs weren't half bad.

When it had ended the two of them had rushed out of the stadium to avoid the crowd, luckily Shizuo's seat was near a door, so they were able to escape the masses of people without any trouble. The walk home was filled with concert critique, mostly from Izaya, listing things he did and didn't enjoy about the concert. Shizuo, for the most part, was silent. Mostly because he hadn't been paying close attention to the concert, but also because his mind was filled with his own thoughts. Eventually Izaya followed suit and fell silent for the rest of the walk home.

When they got home Izaya let out a long, drawn out sigh.

"Well I guess that wasn't my wish… what are we going to do now?"

Shizuo shut the door behind him and thought for a second, standing his ground directly in front of Izaya.

"Izaya… do, do you really want to pass on?"

The look that Shizuo received for this statement was a mix of shock and confusion. Shizuo sighed and continued.

"I, I was thinking about it today at the concert, and…" he shrugged a bit awkwardly, "its selfish I know… but I think I would become a little lonely without you around."

Izaya raised an eyebrow, "Shizu-chan?"

"I mean… you aren't as awful to be around as you used to be… in fact, Izaya, I LIKE being with you now… "

A smile crept on to Izaya's face; Shizuo cursed himself a bit inwardly for being so terrible with words.

He sighed.

_Damn it. Why am I beating around the bush so much? … Just say it already!_

He shut his eyes tightly and clenched his fists together; taking a breath he relaxed and opened them.

"Izaya… I think…" he could feel his cheeks become a slight shade of pink; he tried to ignore it as he continued. "I think, that I've fallen in lo-"

_BAM! BAM! BAM! _

His confession was interrupted by a loud banging on the door, and Shizuo could feel the color drain from his face as he heard the muffled words that followed.

"OPEN UP. THIS IS THE POLICE."

( I REALLY did not know what to do with this chapter(could you tell 3_3)… concerts… NEVER BEEN TO ONE (well I DID go to the Hatsune Miku concert… if that counts)… soooo yay time skips? *facetable* I feel like it was a bit rushed… shizuos feelings and the chapter itself… ugh. Ah well…. I also did not specify WHERE the concert was because… I'm American… and… I don't know where the nearest concert hall place is to Ikebukuro . . . or if there is one in Ikebukuro. xD  
>anway.. .AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA CLIFF HANGER. The next chapter will most likely be the last one... and then an epilogue... Also as you probably have noticed... this will not be done by Vday xD but SOON I also do not know when I will be releasing the final chapter as... Im losing muse for this story V_V but i need to do it because i can not write anything else until its done... Anyway... enough of my rant... love you all thanks for reading and your reviews mean a lot to me!)<p> 


	9. I'll be waiting

To Find The Things Not Spoken

By, Takaratoast

Chapter 8, I'll Be Waiting

**POV: IZAYA**

_I AM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN? TOO LONG THAT'S HOW LONG! I WAS JUST SUPER SCARED TO WRITE IT... FOR A REASON... I HATE HOW THIS CAME OUT, BUT I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN THIS SO... HERE YA GO! ... Again.. so so so so sorry for the wait ;n;  
><em>

* * *

><p>Though he wasn't alive, Izaya could swear that his heart was beating right out of his chest as he heard Shizuo speak, anticipating those three beautiful words that he never thought he would hear.<p>

"I think, that I've fallen in lo-"

His heart stopped as the garish banging that had interrupted Shizuo's words, rung through his ears, and his stomach dropped at the voice that had followed the intrusious banging.

"OPEN UP! THIS IS THE POLICE!"

There was only one reason why the police would be showing up at the apartment of Shizuo Heiwajima, and both of them knew exactly what it was.

_My body... someone found it._

He could hear Shizuo's breathing becoming shallow as he turned his head to look over at the door, that once again shook as a persistent fist pounded against it, followed again by a voice demanding entrance. As Shizuo turned and took a step towards the door, Izaya reached his hand out to stop him, only to find his hand swinging right through Shizuo's arm. He let out a some what pitiful sound, it wasn't a word, but it held so many of them within it.

_Stop. What are you doing? Why are you opening the door? What were you going to say? Why aren't you trying to get away?_

Before he could utter another syllable Shizuo's hand was on the door knob, opening the door as if in slow motion. Or, maybe it wasn't slow, maybe it happening quickly, all too quickly.

The second the door had opened guns were pointed at Shizuo and police were barking orders at him to get on the ground and hold his arms behind his head. He was frisked, then lifted up, and hand cuffed for the murder of Izaya Orihara. Not Izaya, nor Shizuo had said a word, Shizuo complied to all of the police's demands, his face unreadable, like he had known this was going to happen, like it was only a matter of time. Izaya simply hadn't had the words to speak. For the first time in his existence Izaya Orihara was rendered speechless.

Wordlessly, he followed after Shizuo, watching, soaking in what was happening. He watched as Shizuo was brought into a large courtroom as a suspect for his murder. His jaw dropped when the man didn't even attempt denying the murder. The judge and jury seemed to reflect Izaya's surprise at the almost instant confession.

"Yes... I killed Izaya Orihara on the night in question... in cold blood," was all he had said, practically choking on his words.

Of course any evidence they had gathered, only reflected this statement. In less than an hour, Shizuo Heiwajima was put in prison, on death row, for the murder of 23 year old Orihara Izaya. Izaya didn't speak to Shizuo until he was finally put in his cell, cell number 304 in the Tokyo Detention Center. As the guard shut the bars on his solitary cell in the special wing for those sentenced to death row, the blonde slowly made his way over to the small bunk in the corner of the room, sitting down carefully, his elbows resting on his knees.

"Shizu-chan..."

"Stop."

Izaya looked at Shizuo in surprise to see the blonde look up at Izaya with an almost desperate look in his eyes.

"I know what you're going to say. Why did I give myself up? Why didn't I even try to defend myself? How are you going to grant my wish now?" He shook his head, burying his face in his palms. "Its because I did it, I did kill you... And I'm not about to try to fight the truth, to try and avoid the justice that I deserve. I don't know what to do about your wish, and frankly I can't think about anything like that right now. All I can think about at the moment is how I'm trying not to lose it over the fact that in five days..." He lowered his voice to a whisper, as if he were afraid to even say it, in fear that it would come sooner than expected. He lifted his head to look Izaya in the eyes, mocha irises meeting with crimson ones.

"I'm scheduled to be executed."

He gulped, and his eyes flashed with something like fear, something that in all the years that Izaya had known Shizuo, Izaya had never seen in him.

"There's... there's still hope ... for my wish I mean."

The fear in Shizuo's eyes was replaced by confusion, mixed with slight annoyance. "Do you even know... what it is?"

Izaya nodded.

The confusion in his eyes grew, "How long have you known?" The blondes voice was raised, part from surprise, part from irritation, and part from his own distress due to his current circumstances.

"Since... you first found me by my body."

Shizuo flared, and Izaya knew he would. Why wouldn't he? He believes that had he known, everything could have been solved ages ago.

_But it's not that simple._

_Nothing ever is._

"Well then why the hell didn't you say something?"

He was doing his best to keep his voice down, Izaya could tell, after all, what would the guards say if Shizuo had told them that the ghost of the man he murdered was in his cell with him and that was who he had been talking to? His teeth were gritted and there was obvious frustration in his features. Izaya just stood there, his hands locked together in front of him as he spoke.

"Because I couldn't. If you knew what it was, you wouldn't be able to grant it." his voice was steady, hoping that his good temper would help Shizuo's. "Because... if you knew what it was from the start... you would never have wanted to grant it..." He avoided Shizuo's gaze, and for a moment, they were both silent.

A heavy sigh came from Shizuo's direction. "Just... stay here until... until it's time. I don't... I at least don't want to be alone before I..." He looked back down, once again, not wanting to finish his own sentence. Izaya nodded, not wanting to hear the end of it much either, though he new what it was anyway.

He sat down next to Shizuo, the reality of the mans coming death sinking in for both of them. He knew Shizuo was scared of dying, because he knew what fear before death was like... The circumstances however, were all too different. Shizuo had days to be scared to die, Izaya only had moments. He winced, only able to guess what the blonde was going through. He thought back to the moments before his death, the regret, the confusion, and the desperation to keep living. It was almost funny, he had only been killed a few days ago, and yet, spending the days with Shizuo made them feel like they were so long ago... He smiled sadly, he was scared for Shizuo to die as well, he was scared of losing someone he loved, scared of spending eternity alone, that he never would find some freak to exorcise him, and he would just wander aimlessly like the ghosts seen in movies.

However, despite their shared fears, eventually the day of execution arrived. The days before were quiet, Shizuo took comfort in another persons presence more than having someone to talk to, mostly because they didn't talk much. Neither of them had the right words, thoughts were swirling around their head, but nothing either of them thought was worth saying, nothing that would help what either of them were feeling.

Two guards came to escort Shizuo to his execution that morning, likely the two that would witness his death. Each of them had one hand holding tightly to one of Shizuo arms, cuffed securely behind his back. Izaya followed behind the three solemnly. He didn't want to watch Shizuo die, but he knew Shizuo wanted him there, to say his final goodbyes. He almost laughed at himself. Doing something he didn't want to do, for the sake of another person. Oh so unlike him, but then, he had already come to terms with the idea of him not being himself lately.

The guards led Shizuo into a small room. There was one door, and one wall with a large glass window. Through the window he could see the viewing room, there were two guards waiting in the viewing room for the execution to begin. The larger of the guards that escorted him in instructed him to stand in the middle of a series of red rectangles. As he stepped onto the platform he looked up at Izaya, his eyes were hollow, a look in them that Izaya had never seen before. Izaya stared back into Shizuo's broken mocha iris's as the first guard slipped a noose around Shizuo's head. The second was standing by the door, his palm on the button that would open the trap door he was standing on, ending Shizuo's life.

The guard stood back, and Izaya stepped closer, hating the emptiness in Shizuo's eyes as he looked down to the floor. "If you have any last words you may say them now." The man said dryly as retreated to the corner of the room.

Shizuo looked back up at Izaya with those empty eyes, the eyes of a man who was ready to die, of a man that had given up on life, given up on hope, and given up on Izaya. "Hey.. flea," he began in a raspy tired voice. "Do you think... that your wish really could have been to see me dead?" A sad laugh fell from his lips as he looked back down at the ground, only to look back up at Izaya. The watching guards were sending each other questioning glances, a few beginning to think that Shizuo was crazy, but decided to let him talk.

"Maybe if that was it... when I die, you can finally pass on... and you won't have to be alone..." The look on his face was desperate, desperate for just a little more time, a few more words, just a little more anything. "It's too bad really... I would have liked to see you off.. to spend a bit more time with you... Three days... just wasn't long enough." He paused again, taking a breath as he shut his eyes for a moment. "And, flea..If that... if this wasn't your wish, then... I'm sorry, that I couldn't grant your wish... that you couldn't pass on... and that I killed you."

Another pause as he shut his eyes tightly, when he opened his eyes again Izaya could swear he could see water in their rims. "But most of all.." he continued, his voice shaking. "I'm sorry that it took me so long to tell you this... I'm sorry, that it took so long to tell you... that... Izaya," He lifted his eyes up to meet Izaya's again. "I love you."

Izaya's eyes widened when he heard the words, the three simple words that he had been waiting for... the words that he thought he would never hear. And for a moment, he felt alive again, like he was there, like he had substance.

"What the hell?" He turned to see the guard standing by the door pointing at him, with a horrified expression on his face. He looked towards the viewing room to see the other guards gaping at him as well. "I-Isn't that Izaya Orihara? The guy Heiwajima was supposed to have killed?" Shouted another as Izaya's hands moved up to his hips.

_It's rude to stare you know..._

_..._

_Wait they ARE staring...which means... they can see me?_

_Does that mean...?_

"That was it Shizu-chan.." He said as he turned to face Shizuo, stepping towards him as he felt his own eyes begin to wet. "You finally said it... you finally told me... that you loved me..." He reached forward to place his hand on Shizuo's cheek, hoping with all of his heart that Shizuo would be able to feel his touch. The life brought back into Shizuo's eyes told him that he had.

The guards around them stood frozen in shock, not sure what to do or what to say, so they just stared, wide eyed and petrified.

"I... I can feel you..." Shizuo whispered, a single tear falling from his widened eyes.

"I know, Shizu-chan.." Izaya whispered back softly. He stood up on his toes to plant a soft, gentle kiss on Shizuo's lips. Shizuo returned the kiss wholeheartedly, Izaya's hand sliding back to rest lightly on the back of Shizuo's neck. The pair stood there for a moment, lips brushing against each others beautifully, each of their cheeks stained with a streak of a tear.

He suddenly felt a wave of panic wash over him as he began to feel himself slowly fading away again, and this time, he knew it would be for good. He pulled back from the kiss to touch his forehead with Shizuo's until his touch was once again taken from him.

When it did, Izaya stepped back and smiled at Shizuo, another tear dripping down his cheek. "I have to go now Shizu-chan... I'll be waiting for you..."

Shizuo watched him as he faded away cursing his hand cuffs for keeping him from reaching out to Izaya. "I swear I wont be long... I love you..."

He gave Shizuo a final soft smile, "I know," he forced a light laugh. "I'm just evolving one last time, Shizu-chan. So hurry up and catch up to me, alright protozoan?"

And with that, Izaya was gone.

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><p><em>Okay, first of all, I know that the entire courtimprisonment thing is off... but I don't know much about the Japans court system, and the accurate stay on death row is between 5 and 10 years in prison before execution... I just.. kinda sped up the process for the fictions sake. I also don't know if criminals are allowed last words... but... Shizuo got them xD xD _

_Anyway... YUP THAT'S IT. THE FINAL CHAPTER OF TO FIND THE THINGS NOT SPOKEN~~~ I was originally going to write an epilogue.. but... it was crap... so ... I'M NOT 8D Which means this gets left off weird... but...I dont even like this fanfic so... yeah... QAQ sorry guys.  
><em>

_THANK YOU FOR YOUR WONDERFUL REVIEWS, THEY MAKE MY LIFE, KEEP 'EM COMIN! I love you all, I really do, thank you so much for reading... RABU RABU!_


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